Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
