My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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