what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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