When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
