We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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