How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
