office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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