is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i think i just lost a toe
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
