You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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