I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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