His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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