Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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