Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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