Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
