Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
