You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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