i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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