Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
