Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize