But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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