There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
