How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
