What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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