I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize