belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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