There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
