So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
