Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Pooping to opera.
Randomize