Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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