i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
