It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
