We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Randomize
