don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
