So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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