when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
