She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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