FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
