Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
