I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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