Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
