i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
