it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
