ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Vodka?
Forever.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Pooping to opera.
Randomize