4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
is that a dick in a sweater?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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