how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
