Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
