So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
