Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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