can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
