Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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