There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
