This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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