I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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