I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
