I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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